I suffered through laxative medication and an enema earlier in the week. I did this in order to endure a long hour of a stranger exploring my nether regions with a prophylactic-covered phallic-shaped device. We made small talk and she seemed nonplussed about my lack of pants.
I have endometriosis and uterine polyps, no surprise there. The ultrasounding doc recommends surgery. We shall see, because, like, expense!
However, this morning I just want to love that part of myself.
The part that wonders if I can reproduce, fearing that I’m infertile – I want to love her.
The part that is a bit afraid of painful penetrative sex – I want to love her.
The part of me that is capable of experiencing profound sexual joy and intimacy – I want to love her.
It feels like I have more knowledge about ways to love myself and I’m going to go with that.
I’m okay with that.
I’m okay with me.