Spiral Pretend

I am back.

Back from a glorious action-packed week at the snow. A week so filled with stuff that I relaxed and enjoyed and didn’t think about my life back at home at all.


And now I’m back at home, back at work and back to stressing.

Massage work is fine.

I feel sick with anxiety at the thought of gardening. I feel like a fraud. I don’t want to go out there. I’m using the rental inspection as an excuse to put back my morning job. Agh, just so not looking forward to gardening. I’m going to have to deal with this somehow. Is it OK to feel anxious and stressed and that I’m not a real gardener? Would I feel better if I looked for alternate work? Would I feel like a fraud in another job, too?

I feel better when I hear that other people feel like they are pretending too.

Listing and acknowledging accomplishments apparently helps.

Stay tuned for my list of achievements and accomplishments…



Of the female variety and hungry for knowledge, truth and love.

Tagged with: , , , , , ,
Posted in Inner World, Life, Me Me Me!, Personal Growth
5 comments on “Spiral Pretend
  1. mystic29 says:

    Until we become very good at what we do we are winging it to some extent, learning at being what we want to be is not being fraudulent. Im sure you already know more than I do about gardening but Im much better at working steel than you (possibly)
    Just be YOU, be the best YOU you can and the rest will all fall into place…

  2. Spiral says:

    Thanks, mystic29. And you’re right, I’ve never ever worked steel.I went to an all-girls school that didn’t offer any “boy” subjects, not even woodwork which I would have loved.

  3. prog4 says:

    What is a real gardener?

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