Love Song Considerations

As I drove home from singing group, I turned on the radio to Richard Mercer’s Love Song Dedications.

57 songs to disempower the self

I can find the show funny, sweet or sad (both types) but always incredibly interesting. The callers always miss their significant other so much or have had a fight and want to make it up to them or get them to come back. Or yes, they just want the other to know that they are loved very, very much.

Someone requested a popular song *cough* Shania Twain *cough* which I knew very well and started singing along. And then I noticed the lyrics and couldn’t sing those words.

Because he’s not my reason for living. Or breathing. Or my only source of happiness. No, I won’t give everything for him and you know what? I may not even love him romantically forever.

The whole song perpetuates the myth of the other half/two halves making a whole. Our society loves this. I wonder how many other love songs actually make us feel worse about ourselves.

Each person is whole. As we are. On our own.

The way I see it, a partner may be a companion, a complement, someone to love, challenge, enjoy and share with. I’ve been a fan of Kahlil Gibran for many years and resonate with his thoughts on marriage.

Since I happen to be in a four-month old relationship and still in the ‘enjoying, loving, appreciating and somewhat gooey’ stage, my philosophy leads to comments like:

Me: I love what I know of you
or
Mr Connection: I’d like to be in a relationship with you for a long time

No, they’re not declarations of eternal love. Yes, they are delivered with much awkwardness. But we both get it and are enjoying our shared and separate journeys.

What are your thoughts on romantic love?

Richard Mercer... hiding behind his other half???

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Of the female variety and hungry for knowledge, truth and love.

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Posted in Dating, Humour, Inner World, Life, love, Me Me Me!, My Partner
8 comments on “Love Song Considerations
  1. starzyia says:

    exactly! if someone doesn’t feel whole to begin with they aren’t great relationship material. I will never depend on someone that way. I don’t need someone to fill a void.
    I also think a lot of songs played at weddings are not appropriate to the occasion if you listen to the true meaning of the song.

    • Spiral says:

      Good for you, Starry! You are an inspiration as a strong independent woman. Hope things are going well for you and that you are in brilliant health.

  2. kymbo says:

    Romantic love does not exist in my mind…it’s a simple animal breeding instinct that brings us together with a common goal, we assess each others pheromones and therefore each others genes, we decide this partner is right for us…and we breed.
    Sure, it’s a nice feeling when you’re in it and if calling it ‘love’ suits you then ‘love’ it is.. But as you point out, popular culture glorifies unrealistically the longevity of ‘love’!
    The whole issue is somewhat further scrambled by the affects of societal pressures, religious pressures, the Pill and this modern preoccupation with one love, one partner and forever together… and the guilt you will feel if change your path or just dont feel the same way as the rest of society.

    • Spiral says:

      So do you think we feel the same urge even when we can no longer breed? When there is no possibility or desire to breed? I think the intimacy, relating and physical contact are both attractive and healthy and propel people together (in love/affection/desire).

      I’m not sure I believe in marriage (for myself) though. My inner romantic says it is beautiful, my practical cynical self says look around, it doesn’t work and is probably not natural. Wy spend all the time and money on one day and go through all the legal formalities?

      As an aside, I had a partner with an unusual body smell. Which I liked. Until I didn’t. And then I detested the smell. It still turns me off when I run into him now. At one stage I was deeply in love with him. I’ve heard it’s common for women to stop liking how their man smells but wonder how genetics comes into it. Was the smell nature’s way of saying, ‘DON’T BREED’!?

      • kymbo says:

        I do think we feel the same urges as we age, I’m 51 now and still find some women unusually attractive. The human psyche is a very complicated thing so there aren’t many black and white situations. Genetics throws the dice and we have to live with whatever comes up.
        The intimacy thing is something else altogether, we are used to living very close to others of our species, close family and extended groups seems to have been the way for a very long time now, just like a young body growing old and not realizing that breeding is no longer possible we crave the close family and extended bonding that makes us feel so comfortable.
        Apparently out taste for mates changes as we age and our needs change, so I’d say your change of feelings about someones odor is some kind of warning that things were not meant to be..

  3. Kikipotamus says:

    I agree with you; we are each whole. Societal pressures are a mother, though.

    • Spiral says:

      Thanks for stopping by πŸ™‚ We don’t all need our societal mother breathing down our necks 24/7 but it is a good thing to have some constraints in place. Very happy I have the opportunity to live a pretty good life.

  4. Love is love in my world, so the question tends to bounce off my flat mind and skitter across the linoleum, ending up under the steam pipe at the far end of my perception, yet I sort of understand a need to classify love between child, mother, sibling, friend and lover. Yet it is the appropriateness of love’s demonstration that we classify, no? Not the love itself?

    In my world, love is a clear, unclouded solar plexus shining golden light upon another imagined individual without the necessity of their consent or even of their knowledge, but if knowledge is shared of love, the one shined upon has only one obligation – to bask in the joy of the golden selfless radiance, soak it in, that is, to simply be.

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