On Becoming An Anxious, Crippled, Horny Insomniac

Last night I did not get a wink of sleep until after 4am. I don’t feel too tired this morning but I always get concerned when I don’t sleep  and it’s been a recurring pattern lately. Days of feeling groggy, sleepy, grumpy and  having poor concentration frighten me.

There are a few reasons for my recent bouts of sleeplessness. For the last 25 years I’ve been a fussy sleeper. I need darkness, silence, a comfortable position and optimal temperature in order to get to sleep. And to be relaxed. Now I’m in a share house and no-one tends to go to bed before 11pm and often a lot later. I need to learn to sleep while people are still up and making small amounts of noise outside my bedroom. Most of all, I need to not panic.

Why? Because next week I start studying full-time and also will be doing more morning work. I’m anxious about changing my sleeping pattern to going to bed earlier while the rest of the house is still awake. Also, I’m excited about these changes and the adrenalin is pumping… will I like my course… will this lead to a new career… uni… new friends… will I earn enough money… will it all work out…

On top of that, I injured my leg a few weeks ago. I’ve had to stay off my feet and am not used to it. I’m used to daily hourly walks, occasional runs, long bushwalks and generally being active and burning off stress hormones and excess energy. So I feel pretty wired (weights and a li’l yoga just not cutting it). My daily walks have been therapeutic for me in so many ways and I miss them. But really I’m coping rather well considering my only walk is the 5 mins it takes to get to work.

Plus I’m going through that phase of healing from a relationship break-up where my libido is soaring – also known as being human – and it’s definitely also a factor in keeping me awake at night. Walking and running help disperse sexual energy. I’m even considering starting to date!

So at the moment I’m an anxious, crippled, horny insomniac.

Apart from that, things are really quite good. Really. My life is moving and changing, I’ve chosen and found a path to follow for now and am really excited to be on it. And once I start sleeping soundly again I’ll enjoy it a whole lot more.

Sleeping dog

I could learn a thing or two from mum's dog

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About

Of the female variety and hungry for knowledge, truth and love.

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Posted in Dating, Health, Humour, Inner World, Life, Me Me Me!, Winds of Change
5 comments on “On Becoming An Anxious, Crippled, Horny Insomniac
  1. So I’ll stop by, say, 3am? 🙂

    Sleep is, of course, essential. When I let myself get sleep-deprived I find it much more difficult to stay in the moment – so the stress of not sleeping tends to be multiplied by regret and anxiety.

    So I guess I’ll go to bed.

    • Spiral says:

      Very deep. Thanks.

      I’ve calmed down a lot in the last few days. It has been unseasonably hot, as in, like a real summer (gasp!) and no doubt affecting my brain. It has also been the perfect opportunity to swim in the dam, spend time relaxing at home, write, hide out in secondhand bookstores…

  2. kymbo says:

    Welcome to the club you poor Anxious, Crippled, Horny Insomniac….and here was I thinking it was the norm for humans. Things will get better once you start your full time study, you’ll be knackered and sleeping before you know it Spiral.
    cheers

  3. Tim says:

    Sorry to hear about your leg. I can well understand how frustrating it must be to have to temper all your physical activities.
    We have had a bit of summer down here in Melbourne of late too. And humidity. I am not a fan.
    Here’s hoping your sleep patterns improve and that your housemates aren’t too noisy!

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