Plinky Prompt: Squeak-Bang

The consequences of a squeaky bed

She wasn’t my roommate. It’s also not a ‘bad’ story, just makes me laugh.

We lived in a duplex and each rented half of the house. My side was the flat – much smaller but functional enough for one. I had a large bedroom, small lounge room, separate bathroom and kitchen all to myself. The house was on top of a hill, it was freezing for half of the year with no heating (electric only) but it was mine and it felt like heaven.

I knew exactly when she moved in. The squeaking and banging coming from the kitchen alerted me to a lovemaking session on the other side of the wall. It was repeated later that day. And later that night…

I always knew when her boyfriend was visiting. Squeak-bang, sqeak-bang, squeak-bang on the kitchen wall. Sometimes I’d get a fright when I came home and it sounded like there was someone in my kitchen.

The funny thing was that the owner had actually SOUNDPROOFED the house/shared walls before the new tenant moved in. When the trady was there, we’d experimented with radios and thumping the walls etc. to test the sounds. The walls truly were paperthin previously but the last tenant was never home so it was never a problem.

Unfortunately, the floorboards went all the way through both sides of the house and the separating walls had gaps at the joins. But the owner was trying to help and nice – she’d also insulated the roof at my request and even got it done before winter hit (also, it improved the place and she could put the rent up!).

I saw my old neighbour in the supermarket recently. On the way home I burst out laughing at the year I spent sharing the walls. Squeak-bang squeak-bang squeak-bang… night and day whenever her boyfriend was in town.

It never lasted for more than 20 mins and always made me chuckle but I did feel awkward using the kitchen while they were at it. I sometimes played music to try to block out the noise, and wondered if they even noticed the sound of me chopping onions… washing dishes… laughing!

I also had a boyfriend during this time. He stayed over about three nights a week. My bed was not against any shared walls, did not squeak or make any loud noises but I bet my neighbour knew a lot about my love-life and life in general. She could hear me playing music, singing, cooking; everyday living noises.

In return, I heard her practising violin, singing, vacuuming and lots of her general living noises. We never became friends (my boyfriend at that time parked in front of her half of the house and seemed to try to piss her off) but we are on speaking terms.

And I will always remember squeak-bang squeak-bang squeak bang… and smile 🙂

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Of the female variety and hungry for knowledge, truth and love.

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Posted in Creative Writing, Humour
6 comments on “Plinky Prompt: Squeak-Bang
  1. Kymbo says:

    Hi Spiral, I’ve been away on holiday so I have much catching up to do. Ive just read your last few posts, a mix of the good the bad and a little of the sad. I hope your brother improves Spiral. I loved this post, funny thoughts/ memories that live with us for many years.

  2. Speaking terms, or squeaking terms?

    I lived in a spacious old tenement with a couple for a short time. The only working heating vent was in my room, so they camped outside my door and made loud love every night while I was trying to go to sleep. It was a great motivator for me to find my own person to make noise with, far away from them.

    • Spiral says:

      Haha – squeaking terms – I love it!

      Glad you got some inspiration out of the experience 🙂

      MM’s ex-flatmate used to complain about us making love. We were as quiet as humanly possible and I only stayed over once or twice a week. She had lots of big issues and didn’t live there for long.

      In this house now, noone has brought anyone home since I’ve been here. I’m not exactly sure of the dating/sexing courtesies, will cross that bridge when I come to it…

  3. magsx2 says:

    I also have lived in a place with “noisy” neighbours, it does put a smile on your face. 🙂

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