Parallel Universe (or is it Perpendicular?)

It’s strange being back here. In a way it’s very familiar. I know people, I know the town, the environment. I have inside knowledge on the goings on about the place and I don’t feel lonely. I feel very ‘at home’.

But in another way – WTF am I doing here??? I had a plan, y’know? I had a pretty good relationship with a pretty good fella and the next step was to get ready for having a baby. I was working on that “next step” for two years. I knew it would be soon. We just needed to earn more money/find that perfect permanent location/get along better/heal the relationship/get more healthy/be ready/delay.

I was blinded by my dazzling daydream of what I wanted and didn’t see what I was actually presented with.

So I moved on.

Which reality?

Now I feel like I’m in a Parallel Universe.

I’ve felt like this before. Years ago, when it ended with the ex lover, I locked a part of us away in a fantasy world of poetry and erotic explorations. So the other day, when we had that encounter in the supermarket, it was a shock to see the flesh, the reality – so opposed to my fairytale. And to realise that I had strong emotions that needed to be dealt with (I’ll get around to that some time).

And now I am frequently awed by my current situation post Mandorla Man. What am I doing back here, back at my old job and single? Moving into a share house? It’s so different to the life I was living and creating, sort of opposite to what I’ve been building up to over the past four+ years. Even weirder is that the house I’m moving into is on the same block I lived on before I moved away from here.

It feels like the Universe is putting me back where I was.

Why?

To start over?

Make my own decisions?

I chose to come back here using meditation, drawing, intuition and for practical reasons. I chose to come back to my old job, to see my old friends. And I’m now choosing the share house, even knowing the address.

Being here feels right for now, even if it also feels bizarre.

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About

Of the female variety and hungry for knowledge, truth and love.

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Posted in Break up, Inner World, Me Me Me!, Personal Growth, Winds of Change
9 comments on “Parallel Universe (or is it Perpendicular?)
  1. Starry says:

    I am familiar with feeling that life seems unreal, that its taken a different direction than anticipated. I haven’t had a child yet either, and here I am looking after my aged parents before I’ve even gotten to live as much as I wanted. I’m not ready for them to be needing me so much, its scary. I have happiness and freedom with my creating and my friends… so I have that going for me. But sometimes I have this littel freak out when I think… I don’t own my own home yet (or my own mortgage), no partner, no kids, parents breaking hips and getting cancer and what not…. arghhhh!!!!

    anyway, thanks a lot for sharing your life journey, and I wish you much happiness xox Starry

  2. Gina Mortenson says:

    Trust the Universe and trust yourself. You are where you are supposed to be. I know good things are going to happen for you. Try to stay in the moment as much as you can. 🙂

  3. Kymbo says:

    Life is a living, learning thing Spiral. You’ve done some living and most certainly some learning but I’ve always found that life takes us where it wants us to be rather than us taking it..

  4. Tim says:

    Maybe a good idea would be to just go with whatever comes for a while. In time maybe the answers to some of the questions you are asking will be revealed to you. Or maybe not. But it’s not like there is any hurry. Just be for a while.

  5. “Feels right” is a good indication that it is right. I am not wise, but I would say in your shoes that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, now, that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to do. I feel that if you follow the path of least resistance now, it will lead you to the next wonderful phase of your physical existence.

    May you go from strength to strength.

  6. magsx2 says:

    Hi Spiral,
    I’m a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, and you are just on a new journey, enjoy it, wonderful things may be just around the corner.

  7. It would appear that you and I are living parallel universes. It’s funny, being in it, and feeling like you’re the only one, only to discover someone writing your own words to your own life. 🙂 x

  8. Spiral says:

    Love the comments, guys!

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