Emotional Being (Part 1)

All day we feel our way through emotions. Up, down, neutral, off to the side…

And there are times – like now – when the ups are higher, the downs are lower, the sideways are more off-kilter; and they all occur more frequently or even coincide.

It’s a glorious dance, an allowing of ebb and flow.

Feeling sad, afraid, lonely, angry, resentful – all these “negative” emotions are but small movements of the dance. Emotions change. They wash in and out like the tides.

So I cry. I laugh. I pine. I write. I do what needs to be done. I forget. I remember. I work. I be.

There is much overlap.

Tears fall unexpectedly at times and I let them. They pass by. Happiness pays a few visits. Anger and resentment stop by briefly. Heartache lays down with me until I fall asleep.

Although I am in unchartered waters, grieving and unsure, in many ways I feel stronger and healthier than for much of the past year. The main difference is that I am not stuck in a rut or depression. There is movement and fluidity.

I share my circumstances and emotions more openly than I once did. I’ve discovered that people actually long to discover what is inside me and how I feel. They want to relate to me and are prompted to share their own experiences and emotions. It has helped so much to hear that we all go through a similar journey.

I bring up this topic because someone commented, a while ago, that I didn’t seem that well. I don’t agree. I was/am more vulnerable and emotional. I don’t see that as bad or good or an indication of wellness. It’s just where I am right now.

There’s actually a power in opening up to others; friends come from all around, falling over themselves to offer support. I can almost feel an invisible team of helpers buoying me up.

Even when the break-up was raw and recent, and I was finding it harder to cope, no one judged me (I mean real-life people who don’t have access to my blog) as being weak or a failure. I was still able to work and function shakily, even to care for others. I was just emotional. Those observers seemed to know that I was at an ebb.

I’ve learned that judgement or getting stuck in guilt, blame and shame are the biggest blocks to my emotional wellbeing. If I tell myself it’s OK to feel what I feel, it passes.

(to be continued)

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About

Of the female variety and hungry for knowledge, truth and love.

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Posted in Health, Inner World, Personal Growth, Winds of Change
4 comments on “Emotional Being (Part 1)
  1. Kymbo says:

    Because we all go through it from time to time we all know the pain…and remember it well. By helping where possible we hope to lighten the load and hopefully when we next need it, others will come forward to help bare our load.
    I’m glad youre doing well Spiral.

  2. Retail Robot says:

    I agree that there is a difference between being depressed/not well and going through emotions and, in your case (which is healthy), recognizing and accepting those emotions.

    I think it’s kind of silly how our society shuns people who talk about their emotional hardships. I am a really open person, and I know that when I have told people about being depressed in the past, it’s helped others to open up to me and I have found that almost every person that I have come into contact with at my age (21) has felt depressed or suicidal at one point in their lives. Maybe if we were all brave enough to talk about our emotions and not judge people on them we would all be moving along faster!

    I’m just getting to the point where I realized that even though I had a terrible breakup with my boyfriend, he wasn’t the one for me and that it is OVER. What’s done is done, and all of the emotions and feelings and regret I had have come, and they have passed, and now it is time for me to live my life and get back to all the ambitions and goals I had before I met him. I’m glad you aren’t holding anything in…I do that far too much and I know it isn’t healthy. Hope everything continues to go well!

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