Had some work yesterday, it was sooooooooo hard to give and interact with people. Anyway, a bit of income is a good thing. Went off to my music lesson in the afternoon and on the way home I felt like stopping at the closest lookout. The view of ocean, beach, distant hills is soothing and the moon is almost full – it sounded great. I sat in the car, rolled down the window and listened to the ocean. Tried not to think too hard and just enjoy the view.
As the night fell, a bandicoot hopped around the carpark and into the scrub. A man who’d been sitting at a table stood up to observe it. Then he walked towards to car. At some stage I realised it was MM. He asked if he could get in and if we could talk. Yes. We talked. We shared until the hours passed and we had talked enough (and also were both uncomfortable with full bladders).
We talked more at home. I’m not sure how it happened, but by the time I was ready to sleep, I felt like something had shifted. Something has shifted. I see where I will not yield and neither will he. I see that we are both on different paths and are wanting different things. And as long as I’m not getting caught in the middle (in the relationship), I can allow those differences.
This morning I feel more compassionate. I also have a cold so I’m feeling shivery and a bit ill. But although I’m scared and terrified about myself, I feel better about the ending of our relationship. I feel less angry, less bitter. There is now the possibility of us being friends further down the track.
Now I’ve just gotta decide what the next step is for me.
And some Astrological relief:
Dear Cappie Person, I’m glad you’re reading this because it gives me a chance to let you know something. Of all the signs, you’ve have arguably been fairest and squarest in the firing line in the past few weeks, for reasons connected to having Pluto in your sign and Saturn being your ruler. So if you’ve been having a tough time, try to relax a little now as the skies ease. Be kind to yourself and in particular congratulate yourself if you’re managing to stay sane and lead a fairly balanced life.