The sun is shining, birds are singing; it’s a gorgeous day.
I am looking for somewhere to live and mentally trying to figure out how I can make ends meet with more expenses. I haven’t rung any of them yet. A sharehouse looks like the best option. I find something wrong with them all. Ick – smoker: Oh, too far out of town…
My heart doesn’t feel much more broken. I think that has been an achingly slow process ever since I left my home to share his life. It’s been so slow that it was hard to see that it was happening. I blamed myself when we settled in a new town. I was unemployed. I was away from everyone we knew. I didn’t like the climate. I was depressed. I was the problem.
This morning I don’t feel any of that.
I feel numb.
And I feel like a fool.